I kind of laughed and looked at Luke and said it still felt like I was dreaming. Since October I felt like I was in a dream. Just before I gave birth even I had to look down and try to let it sink in that I was pregnant and going to have a baby.

And then there he was and I was stumped. They took him away and cleared his throat and checked his vitals. And then it hit me.

I missed him.

I wanted him back with me. I needed to have my baby. My little boy. When were they going to bring him back to me? {I am crying a bit now as I write this because I still miss him when he is not with me. As a matter of fact, he is sleeping on my chest now as I type this blog.}

I have spent the last nine months thinking about how I have to go through all the baby trials again. All the diapers and no sleep and chasing around. The idea of all that work again terrified me. But I have met Will now and he is worth everything. I will happily do it all over again for him. My mind has gone from feeling fear over the work to feeling privileged that I get to do the work. Yes, I feel privileged that God gave me another child to love and raise. I am gaga over Will.

William Patrick – Born July 9th – 8lbs. 14 oz. (you feel me, ladies?!) – 20 inches – Wonderful!

I could go on and on about this new special little boy, but I will spare you and get right to some photos. I snapped these images just before we left the hospital. Little Will, less than two days old…

]]> http://www.joyfulgirlphotography.com/blog/archives/1293/feed 2 http://www.joyfulgirlphotography.com/blog/archives/1269 http://www.joyfulgirlphotography.com/blog/archives/1269#comments Tue, 06 Jul 2010 19:43:38 +0000 Jessie http://www.joyfulgirlphotography.com/blog/?p=1269 There were two of us at my pity party this morning (2.9 if you count Will – still in my tummy!).

Today is July 6th. Today is my due date. Today at my doctor appointment the doctor said that I have not progressed towards delivery. Today she said that she will not schedule an induction because I am still not far enough along. Today I was trying not to cry at the appointment desk as I made another appointment for next week.

I have been waiting for this day since October. And I have been thinking of nothing else but being not pregnant anymore for the last month. I will not force you to attend my pity party too by going over details with you, but this last month of pregnancy has been one of the most uncomfortable times of my life, and never did I think that I would still be pregnant on this day, July 6th. And never did I think that the Doctor would say that I should make a 41-week appointment for next week!

So I came home from my appointment and sat at the table with Luke and cried. And felt sorry for myself. And he listened and stayed home from work and was the amazing husband that he always is. And now I feel better. And ready to meet Will. Oh so ready!

Luke suggested we go for a walk after our party. Bella looked at us and said, “We can go for a walk but mama should stay home and rest because her feet are too fat.” Out of the mouths of babes. Yes, I have been having some severe swelling problems this last month and walking has not been easy. I can only wear one pair of my shoes at the moment. I think that I will have some sort of shoe-burning party after my body returns to normal. I wonder how well these beauties will burn…

I know that you have seen these images already, but as I only had a second to do this I just grabbed a few favorite recent newborn images.

I am so excited to use these for my own baby announcements in July! My little Will {yes, it’s a boy!} will be here soon…

Front of card one:

Back of card one:

Front of card two:

Back of card two:

And then I realized something about my photography. About how much joy and gratitude play a role in it. About how, if you cannot find joys in the simplicity of life, you cannot capture them with your camera.

You see, I am a joy junkie. In my shoots, I want to find that joy. I want to get that moment when you let down your guard and let me in and share with me. I crave that.

And I believe that for you to do well with photography {or your other ventures}, you will also need to seek out that joy. You will need to appreciate the small gifts and be patient enough to wait for the big ones. Once you are able to do that, you can relax and let yourself feel those moments. It is hard to describe this feeling, but try it sometime. Try to feel the joys in the task in front of you and I think that your work will change. And so might your life {big statement to throw in at the end of a paragraph, I know}.

I know that you may want some technical advice by now in these shop talks. You know, talk about lenses and light and Photoshop and printing, but that will have to wait for now. Because while these things are incredibly important, learning how to not worry about them is important too.

And just to share two of my joys with you, here are Bella and Abe. Can you feel their joy?

How I got this shot? This is called “panning” and is all about your shutter speed {and patience}. I first determined the correct shutter speed for how much background movement I wanted. Too fast a shutter speed, and the background would not show enough blur. Too slow, and the elements would not have been recognizable. So, play with the shutter speed and check the viewfinder on the back of your camera to determine your personal preference. I was at 1/60 here.

Then you want to be sure that all of your subject is in focus, and that your aperture is not too wide. I was at a 9.5 here. I am never at a 9.5 {I like a very narrow depth of field – i.e. very blurry backgrounds}. However, in this case, I knew that the motion would give me the blur that I needed so I didn’t worry about that. Plus, the swing was moving around so much that I needed to have a very large focal plane so I could catch the kids in focus no matter where the swing took them.

Once you have all of that determined, you then need to move with the subject. Yes, you need to pan! I planted my feet and body so that I would face their resting position directly from the side {Does that make any sense?}. Then when Luke swung them, I kept my feet planted and moved my camera with the kids at their speed.

Finally, you need to take lots of shots. I took over 50 of them swinging to get this one good one. This was especially tricky because you have two kids to look good and have their eyes open and you have a swing that spins, so sometimes I would get a shot of their backs. Remember that whole patience bit?:)

Good luck…

Then I became pregnant with a 2- and 3/4-year-old at home. My choices have been different. Keep clients happy? Yup, choose that. Work hard on shoots and images? Yup, choose that. Lay down on the couch and rest/read instead of blogging? Yup, I choose that too. Hang out with my kids instead of blogging? Yup. Eat instead of blogging? Yup. Pretty much do anything instead of blogging or working on my new website? Yup.

So, you will have to bear with me through this pregnancy and beyond and trust that my blogging may not be on track anymore, but I still work very hard for my clients. And know that I love to blog, I just can’t do it so much anymore.

I was complaining to my husband today about being sick of being tired and he said, “Don’t worry, it is only for a couple more months.” I got a good laugh from that as he realized that he was sort of forgetting about the part after you give birth and have a new baby that makes you tired too! He then changed his statement to, “Ok, you will only be tired for a couple more months, then you will be exhausted!”

But just to remind us how worth it they are, here is another recent newborn image from my stash…

I learned about the website recalls.gov so I thought I would check them out. You know, just to see what they were all about. Just out of curiosity. And then my inner mom stepped in. Do I want to be notified of flu outbreaks? Of course I do! Do I want to be notified of car recalls? Of course I do! Do I want to be notified of child safety restraint recalls and food recalls and drug recalls and and and? Of course! Doesn’t every good mom need to know these things? I realize that I have survived over fours years of motherhood without them, but in that moment I could not go another second without these updates. I worked myself into a frenzy. It was not pretty.

And because I share so much with you, I thought that I would give you the opportunity to let your paranoid self come out too. Yes, why should I be the only one getting bombarded with daily emails making me more paranoid about everything I give my kids? Why not share the love? www.recalls.gov. I apologize to you in advance.

Of course I always need to include an image, so why what one of Miss Rylee from a recent shoot to remind us why we must know of any tire recalls immediately?! {Does my poking-fun-at-myself-sarcasm come through in these lines?}

And there was this shot. The lighting was perfect. The story was perfect. The background was perfect. The colors were perfect. And I still had my camera on in my hands. Without a word to the mother and grandmother – I dashed away from our conversation to capture this shot.

This has become one of my favorite shots, and each time I see it, I think about how happy I was that I stayed ready  - even when the shoot was officially over.

Part of why I wanted to start with this “lesson,” is because it perfectly introduces you to my all-time favorite photography book. It is not your traditional photography book. It is not a technical journal. It is not a coffe table book. But it has given me more practical advice than any other photography book I have read. It has given me easy-to-remember nuggets to carry with me in my photography journey, and to me, the book is worth its weight in gold.

The book is “The Moment It Clicks” by Joe McNally. It is a joy to read and is written in a way that really speaks to me. I carry his words with me always, and it will not be the last time you hear about Joe’s advice in one of my shop talks!

On pages 14-15, his nugget is “Don’t pack up till you leave.” Was I ever glad that I followed his advice! And I hope that you do too. Whether your love is photography or rock collecting – always be ready until you leave. You just never know when you will find a treasure…

Do it well like Addison and Oliver’s parents. They seemed to handle these children with such love and confidence and make first-time parenting look easy. They are a special team, and these two blessings were a joy to photograph!

Grandma made these too cute hats for them…

My mom always told me that everything was better when I was there. That experiences were more fun and that she enjoyed herself more. That I brought something to the atmosphere like no one else could do in her world. She always made me feel so good about myself.

And then yesterday, Bella, Luke, and I played cards. Bella has recently learned Old Maid and Crazy Eights and Go Fish. Coming from a family whose core includes playing games, it melts my heart to see how much Bella loves to play. As we played, Bella kept cracking Luke and I up. She is wonderfully expressive, and the way she would squeal when someone took took the old maid from her or when she had just the right card to play, made Luke and I laugh so hard. She got excited about everything. She laughed hard. She played well. She was kind.

After I finally stopped laughing at one of her squeals, it came out naturally. “Bella, you make everything so much fun. It is always so much more fun when you are around.” And then I actually heard myself. I heard my mom in myself. And I remembered how my mom made me feel. But in that moment I was also aware of how my mom must have felt. I had to take a pause to feel this. To feel how much I adore this treasure of a child. How amazing I think she is. How terribly proud of her I am. How my life is 1000 times better with her in it. How she makes me laugh. How she teaches me new things. How she helps me know my mom better even five and a half years after her death.

I could go on and on here about how I adore Bella. When I asked God for a daughter, I never imagined that He would bless me with one so great. My life with her is better than I ever knew could exist. And on January 30th, she turned four. In the week before her birthday, out of the blue she would squeal and clap and shout “I am going to be four!” Oh to be excited about getting older!

At one of her three recent birthday celebrations, she received cowgirl boots. As grandma Lisa and I were sitting on the couch visiting, Bella was enjoying her new boots. Once she noticed me taking her picture, she came alive with a variety of unprompted poses. All these photos were taken within a minute and ten seconds of each other! She is a natural…

Grandma Lisa arrived with a party hat she made for Bella as well as a Tinkerbell cake and fairy wings. She knows how to bring a party!

We have a local favorite place to go called Stabby’s Cafe (awesome breakfasts!), and we went there for a birthday breakfast. Bella and Abe were both sick and tired and it was not what we had hoped for, but fun nonetheless. Abe did not want to cooperate for the camera, and two seconds after I took the shot of him creating a fork/glass tower, he flung his fork across the table and spilled Bella’s entire glass of juice everywhere, making us the restaurant favorites. This parenting thing is a piece of cake…

Our final party of the weekend and Bella requested a princess cake (of course!)…

I know it is a lot of images of my Bella, but sometimes I have just got to be an over-proud mom who wants to show off her kids! Thanks for hanging in there with me.:)

Something a little deeper happened for me when I was editing Owen and Elijah’s images. Owen is just three and a toehead like my little Abe. When I was editing images of him there were times that I felt like I was looking at my own son. His little ear. His blond hair. His cute feet. The furrowed brow. Having a little boy is one of the greatest gifts God can give a mother, and to be so close to Owen’s images really made my heart tug about my own little gift from God.

And then there is Elijah. In six months I will have a little newborn too, and it was so fun for me to dream about snuggling and kissing my new baby, and since it is someone else’s newborn I can be in denial about all the bits about being up all night and getting spit up on all the time!

I did a couple 20×20 collection prints for their parents to look at and I love how they came together! My, what beautiful children…