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I am not that special person.

The first time I got pregnant I was naive. I was truely hoping that it would be twins. I kept laughing about how nice the two-for-one pregnancy would be! And then I had Miss Bella. And I didn’t know how to feed her. And how to get her to stop crying. Or how to even hold her! In those first fews weeks of exhausted fear and frustration I remembered my desire for twins and laughed at myself. Who did I think that I was to handle that?! I am smart and strong, but it takes a special person to handle two newborns and do it well.

Do it well like Addison and Oliver’s parents. They seemed to handle these children with such love and confidence and make first-time parenting look easy. They are a special team, and these two blessings were a joy to photograph!

Grandma made these too cute hats for them…

Life is so much better with her in it.

There are things our mothers always tell us that never leave our minds even after they are no longer with us.

My mom always told me that everything was better when I was there. That experiences were more fun and that she enjoyed herself more. That I brought something to the atmosphere like no one else could do in her world. She always made me feel so good about myself.

And then yesterday, Bella, Luke, and I played cards. Bella has recently learned Old Maid and Crazy Eights and Go Fish. Coming from a family whose core includes playing games, it melts my heart to see how much Bella loves to play. As we played, Bella kept cracking Luke and I up. She is wonderfully expressive, and the way she would squeal when someone took took the old maid from her or when she had just the right card to play, made Luke and I laugh so hard. She got excited about everything. She laughed hard. She played well. She was kind.

After I finally stopped laughing at one of her squeals, it came out naturally. “Bella, you make everything so much fun. It is always so much more fun when you are around.” And then I actually heard myself. I heard my mom in myself. And I remembered how my mom made me feel. But in that moment I was also aware of how my mom must have felt. I had to take a pause to feel this. To feel how much I adore this treasure of a child. How amazing I think she is. How terribly proud of her I am. How my life is 1000 times better with her in it. How she makes me laugh. How she teaches me new things. How she helps me know my mom better even five and a half years after her death.

I could go on and on here about how I adore Bella. When I asked God for a daughter, I never imagined that He would bless me with one so great. My life with her is better than I ever knew could exist. And on January 30th, she turned four. In the week before her birthday, out of the blue she would squeal and clap and shout “I am going to be four!” Oh to be excited about getting older!

At one of her three recent birthday celebrations, she received cowgirl boots. As grandma Lisa and I were sitting on the couch visiting, Bella was enjoying her new boots. Once she noticed me taking her picture, she came alive with a variety of unprompted poses. All these photos were taken within a minute and ten seconds of each other! She is a natural…

Grandma Lisa arrived with a party hat she made for Bella as well as a Tinkerbell cake and fairy wings. She knows how to bring a party!

We have a local favorite place to go called Stabby’s Cafe (awesome breakfasts!), and we went there for a birthday breakfast. Bella and Abe were both sick and tired and it was not what we had hoped for, but fun nonetheless. Abe did not want to cooperate for the camera, and two seconds after I took the shot of him creating a fork/glass tower, he flung his fork across the table and spilled Bella’s entire glass of juice everywhere, making us the restaurant favorites. This parenting thing is a piece of cake…

Our final party of the weekend and Bella requested a princess cake (of course!)…

I know it is a lot of images of my Bella, but sometimes I have just got to be an over-proud mom who wants to show off her kids! Thanks for hanging in there with me.:)

The truth through the excitement.

They were in the airport about to catch a plane back to Minneapolis when one of them had the crazy idea of spontaneously catching a flight to Vegas instead and eloping. Right then. Right there. For all time.

“Should we?” they thought. And then the truth became clearer than the excitement of the moment. The truth that they treasure their family and friends dearly, and could not imagine commiting their lives to each other without them there. The truth that while this is a special moment between two very private people, it was important to open their hearts and love, and take the day to show everyone what they mean to each other. So they boarded their flight home to Minneapolis and continued on with their wedding plans.

Then January rolled around and their big day arrived, and Jess and Brian dedicated their lives to loving each other. They never wandered far from each others’ side. They kissed {a lot}. They were completely in tune to the other. They laughed and danced and gazed into each others’ eyes. They were connected in a way one rarely gets to see. In a way that only two independent and capable people whose lives are happier because of each other can connect. It was wonderful. And all their loved ones were there to share in their day – which made it all the more special for Jess and Brian.

Thank you Jess and Brian for letting us be a part of your day. You have a wonderful way of putting forth the effort to create beautiful things while still maintaining perspective and fun attitudes. You are two wonderful people whom I hope can come over for dinner and wine and friendship when this whole business relationship is complete {Well, you can all have wine – give me another five months!}! Many blessings to your future, which I know will be nothing short of wonderful…

I was so in love with Jess’s jewelry for the day {she has amazing taste in everything!}. The jewelry was designed by Meg Lammers of MEG Jewelry, and Jess purchased it at bridiesbaubles.com. It was so gorgeous that I want an excuse to buy and wear this, but for some reason a pregnant mom of two young children at the grocery store just doesn’t seem to fit this jewelry. Oh well.

Jess and Brian wanted a day full of candids and shared moments between loved ones, so we really didn’t do many posed images. But my Luke managed to sneak one in while hanging out with Brian. My, oh my, Brian is so handsome and confident.

This is Jess’s reaction to Brian when she saw him at their first look. She was so emotional and excited, and about a half a second after this last frame she was almost running to him. It was very touching to see their joy in each other, to say the least.

And we couldn’t forget Gavin – one of the nicest little boys I know! He was so ga-ga over Jess all day long…

Her beautiful bouquet was from Richfield Flowers and Events.

The weather was frigid that day {high of five degrees!}! They were such good sports to step outside for a minute so I could get a few shots in the entry. I cannot decide which of the two images below I like better, but they are both two of my favorites from the day…

We almost didn’t do any group shots {again, Jess and Brian LOVE the candid moments best}, but I am so glad we did. This is such a fun group of people, and their group shots, although “posed,” were still very relaxed. Perhaps a bit too relaxed…

The atmosphere at the Campus Club for the reception was so perfect. Elegant and not overdone – Just like Jess and Brian. Richfield Flowers and Events did an amazing job on the lighting.

Dear family friends of Brian’s won the “Married the Longest” dance, and I think you can tell that Jess and Brian were thrilled…

Final note – these two are amazing dancers! So good, that when Luke and I left and got in the car, Luke turned to me and said, “Wow, Brian can really dance!” What a fun day…

It tugged at my heart.

I put my heart into my photography, that is for sure. And after I finish editing a client’s session, I always watch their music slideshow in full to be sure that everything has come together like I want it to – and I always get choked up. I could blame it on the fact that it is usually 2:00am and I am exhausted, but I think it has more to do with the fact that my heart is right there in that slideshow too. And it makes me feel good.

Something a little deeper happened for me when I was editing Owen and Elijah’s images. Owen is just three and a toehead like my little Abe. When I was editing images of him there were times that I felt like I was looking at my own son. His little ear. His blond hair. His cute feet. The furrowed brow. Having a little boy is one of the greatest gifts God can give a mother, and to be so close to Owen’s images really made my heart tug about my own little gift from God.

And then there is Elijah. In six months I will have a little newborn too, and it was so fun for me to dream about snuggling and kissing my new baby, and since it is someone else’s newborn I can be in denial about all the bits about being up all night and getting spit up on all the time!

I did a couple 20×20 collection prints for their parents to look at and I love how they came together! My, what beautiful children…